When you live the life we have lived, you wonder a lot if your surviving and unaffected kids are really going to make it. I mean, will they come through everything and be okay on the other side? You also wonder if you have done all that you can to teach them the good things that can come from the tragedy and heart ache. Kevin and I have tried so hard to do that. It isn't easy. Hell, I'm currently having a harder time dealing with the giant hole in my heart than I have in a long time. But I still keep going and I still keep trying because Cooper would want His Kids to have a Mom who does that for them.
In Caroline's first semester at Pace, one of her Honors classes was Disabilities Awareness in Film and Media (or something like that!!). They read books, articles, and studies and watched movies about disabilities and explored the ways that having a family member with a disability affects the whole family. The class was really difficult for Caroline. It made her think of so much of her life and also made her realize, for the first time, that she has her own disability. That was a tough realization for her and many nights, she cried on the phone and I just wanted to run to NYC and hug her! Early in the semester, she asked me if I would be willing to be her subject for an interview about being a care giver. Of course I said yes, but I wasn't really sure how the interview was ultimately going to be used. I knew it was for her final project and she sent me transcripts and analyses of the interview as she worked on it; she even left in all of my F Bombs and other various bad words. She said, "Of course I did, Mom! It's college. No one cares about that!" The 2 professors for her class are parents of kids with disabilities and have both done amazing things for the community. When they read our interview, they didn't seem to mind my sailor mouth and said if I ever write a book, they want to read it.
This week is Finals week for our college girl. She did most of her finals before coming home because finals for things like Acting and Movement are performance based and needed to be done in person. Her last 2 projects are due on Thursday and Friday. Tonight, she completed her final project and I am so proud of her. She has allowed me to upload her video so that I can share it with all of you. It is a wonderful reminder for me that, maybe Kevin and I have done some things right. Our kids have absorbed what we have tried to teach them and are now able to tell such beautiful stories of love, joy, and survival. I'm so damn proud of Caroline. I hope you will take the 10 minutes to watch and listen to what she has created.
https://youtu.be/3CM8cl6ps1U
